Friday, October 28, 2011

Cinta

Jantung aku masih berdegup kencang. Sekencang ketika kali pertama dia menegur aku dahulu. Tergamam seketika kerana memang aku tak sangka dia ingin berkenalan dengan aku sedangkan ramai lagi kawan-kawan aku yang jauh lebih cantik. Sedar tak sedar, sudah lebih 2 tahun usia perkenalan kami dan sepanjang 2 tahun tersebut, kami memang kerap berjumpa dan banyak cerita tentang dirinya yang dikongsi denganku.

Hari ini tiada bezanya. Aku masih tersenyum lebar, selebar senyuman yang ku lemparkan padanya ketika dia menjemput aku lebih kurang 5 jam yang lalu. Aku menoleh sepintas lalu ke arah jam di dinding. Waktu sudah pukul 3 pagi tetapi aku masih belum mengantuk. Sebenarnya aku memang tidak mahu melelapkan mata setiap kali kami berjumpa kerana aku sangat takut dia akan hilang apabila aku bangun dan aku takut tak akan dapat berjumpa dengannya lagi.

Sambil duduk di atas sofa dengan tubuh dibaluti jubah mandi, aku memandangnya yang tengah nenyak tidur dibuai mimpi. Memang tak jemu memandang wajahnya yang kacak dan tubuhnya yang sasa. Dia juga seorang yang baik hati. Selalu sabar mendengar aku bercerita tentang kehidupan harian aku dan sentiasa menasihati aku untuk tabah menghadapi kehidupan walaupun dilanda pelbagai masalah.

Keadaan sunyi di luar menyebabkan aku tiba-tiba merasa sayu dan tanpa aku sedari airmataku mengalir laju membasahi pipiku. Aku cintakan dia.

Aku mendekatinya perlahan-lahan dan berbaring disebelahnya sambil menggenggam tangannya. Terasa selamat sekali.

Tidak lama kemudian, dia bangun dan terus menyarung pakaian. Aku juga menuruti perbuatannya.

Usai berpakaian, dia memandang aku,

“Eh, you menangis ke? Is something wrong?”

Aku hanya menggelengkan kepala sambil tersenyum.

“Jom, I hantar you. You nak balik rumah ke?”

“Belum lagi. Hantar I ke tempat biasa je.”

“Okay. Eh, sebelum I lupa. I belum bayar you lagi untuk malam tadikan?” katanya sambil menyeluk kocek seluar. Beberapa keping not RM50 diserahkan kepadaku.

“Same time next week?”

Aku mula menghitung saat sebelum aku dapat bersamanya kembali.

(23/8/2011)

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Between Then and Now

It was just another Saturday. One of the many that they have shared together since they first knew each other.


But somehow, unlike the rest, this Saturday was different. There was a certain heaviness in the air. An unsettled awkwardness that neither of them wanted to address or maybe was just simply too cowardly to.


He sipped his coffee in silence and occasionally took long, slow drag on his cigarette while she nibbled on her vanilla muffin and looked pass him, feigning interest at nothing. Neither was looking at the other.


After what seemed like an eternity, she took a deep breath and slowly moved her gaze and looked straight into his eyes. He stared back at her and instinctively touched her hand. Each saw in the others' eyes what they expected to see.


At that brief moment, she again contemplated telling him what she had come to tell him that day but ultimately decided against it when he said what he said next.


"I think I really do love him and I can't deny who I am anymore. Please be happy for me."


She knew then that there was nothing left to be said and that was the end of them, whatever it was.


She gathered her stuff, stood up and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. She had turned and started to walk away when she felt it move. Patting her belly, she said softly,


"Shhh... Mommy's still here. Everything's going to be okay."

(25 Apr 2011)