My Little Fighter

“Poor guy… only 2 years old but have been through so much already”.

That was what Dr. Yeo the vet said to me yesterday when I brought Cuteness in for a checkup as he was not eating. She’s right. He has been through so much in his 2 years. He lost all his family. 2 of his siblings died the first few weeks they were born. His mother left him at my house and before he was even a year old, his only surviving sister died of unknown reason.
After surviving his first year without any serious illnesses, a few months after he turned 2, he was diagnosed with 2 fatal infections on separate occasions and I just found out a possibility of him being diagnosed with a 3rd also fatal infection. After having survived the first one and still fighting with the 2nd illness, I don’t know if I have the strength or the courage to face the 3rd though I hope and I pray that Cuteness does. He is my little fighter after all.
But I pray even harder that he won’t even get that infection. Not that I won’t be there for him if he does. It’s just that I cannot bear to see him suffer. He’s been hospitalized twice and was put on house arrest twice. Now he will be kept inside permanently because of his condition although I know how much he loves to go out. My baby who once has a voracious appetite and who was slightly overweight is now losing weight rapidly and has to be force feed because he won’t eat on his own. On top of that, he has to take his medication.
I hate putting him through such stress but I don’t know what else to do. All I know is that I can’t just stand by and watch him deteriorate and not do anything. I hate having to say no to him every time he wants to go outside. I hate having to hold him down just to feed him or to give him a drink or worse to force some pills down his throat. I hate seeing him so tired and listless but most of all, I hate feeling so helpless and how every time I look into his eyes all I can think is about losing him.
Some people don’t understand why this is such a big deal. He is just a cat after all. The mention of a cat being hospitalized and having leukemia might seem cute or funny to some people but there is nothing cute or funny about it. The cats and their illnesses are as real as you and me. And they do feel pain and suffer though they are good at hiding it. It’s not a joke. I’m not angry and I’m not blaming. I appreciate the fact that some people are fond of some things and some other people are fond of other things but I do hope that they also appreciate that some people have pets and those pets are loved, cared for and are very much a part of the family and when something or someone that you care deeply about is seriously sick, I’m sure you will do everything you can to make them better. And on the unfortunate occasion that you do lose them, you will grieve. And I’m sure as hell I can’t find anything funny about caring for and/or losing something you love, whatever or whoever it may be.

MY BABY'S SICK

Last week was crazy. I had a lot of urgent work to be done, deadlines to meet. I was so stressed that at one point I actually scowled at my boss. I barely had time to breathe. I even missed my Mandarin class test. Then suddenly I got a call from my sister, whom was away in Langkawi on a class trip, telling me that she was not feeling so well. I took a half day off the next day as my sister was admitted into Ipoh Hospital (she couldn't make it all the way to KL).
Anyway, she is feeling much better and was finally discharged earlier this week on Monday but on the same day, my cat, Cuteness got admitted into the Animal Medical Centre Hospital.
What happened was, all of last week Cuteness was not eating much, was not being his usual self and would just sleep on the top stairs, whole day and night, only getting up when he really needed too. He was also being very quiet and just mew once or twice a day which was worrying me since he is usually a very vocal cat. At first, I thought it was because of the new cat in the house and maybe he was feeling jealous or something but on Monday, he was not eating at all and has a temperature so I rushed him to the vet and prepared myself for bad news.
The vet told me that they need to keep him for the night to run some test because he has a high temperature and his symptoms could indicate something more serious than just a normal infection. My heart sank the moment I heard that and prayed hard that it's not something serious.
The vet called yesterday and confirmed my fears. She told me that he tested positive for Feline Leukemia Virus (FeLV) but she could not confirm the extend of the infection just yet. At least, now he is eating a bit and his temperature has gone down a bit but I was crushed nonetheless when I heard about what the disease entails.
Went to see him last night. He was looking better but restless as the vet had to put him on I.V. drip because he was slightly dehydrated. Got more information on the disease from the vet, all of which are not very promising but I will do all I can for Cuteness. Now I am waiting for a call from the vet to take my baby home. Everybody at home misses him, even my dad who is generally not very fond of cats.

THE POWERS OF FOOD

Last night, i went out with my dad to have dinner at our fave steamboat restaurant. On our way there, we chatted about all sorts of stuff and of course, both of us being 'kaki makan', some how eventually our conversation always turns to food. About a new place we should try or a new recipe etc.
Anyway, I was telling him about Nasi Pakapau recipe (another one of our fave). For those who are thinking what the heck is Nasi Pakapau, it is actually a simple meal of white rice, minced beef or chicken, fried with some sort of an herb and fried egg, a choice between a sunny side up or telur dadar. But don't ever be fooled by its simplicity. It is actually very good. Anyway, I was telling him that I think I know what herb it is that they put in the minced meat that makes it taste sooo good and maybe we should try it some time.
Then suddenly, he said, "Macam mana nenek masak nasi goreng la. Kan dia goreng sekali dengan hirisan daun sup. Ikan bilis pulak dia tumbuk-tumbuk dulu baru campur dalam paste nasi goreng tu. Tu yang buat sedap tu. Bila tergigit hirisan daun sup buat rasa dia lain sikit, tapi sedap..." My dad seldom talks about my nenek (this is my nenek on my mother's side by the way, whom I was so close to that they call me 'anak nenek'). She passed away about 2 years ago but I still miss her terribly. Anyway, as I was saying, when my dad mentioned her last night, I can almost taste her nasi goreng and more importantly, I felt as if she was still around and at that moment, though I miss her more than ever, it doesn't hurt so bad.
That is when I realize that even though she's gone, my beloved nenek lives on, through her cooking. She was a great cook, she loves cooking and what makes her cooking taste so good and special,even if it was something simple is not only because of how she does it but because she cooks with love and that was what I tasted (or felt) last night when I thought I tasted her nasi goreng. And thus, she lives on...