Kehilangan part 1

I hope you knew how much I love you and how much I will miss you.
The moment you were out of sight, I knew I had lost a part of me. I can’t stop you and wanted to go with you but I know that’s not possible. I have stopped crying on the outside but not on the inside though I know no matter how much I cry, you would never come back to me. You were gone and there was nothing I can do.
Everybody tried to confort me, saying things that they thought I wanted to hear but it was all in vain. I was too deep in my sorrow, regrets, and the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve… how I felt like it was my fault, how sorry I was for what I didn’t do..

15 November 2005, 8.00a.m: "Kak Eda, Siti nih. Nak cakap... Nenek dah meninggal... Kak Eda??"
".........................................."

p/s Thanks to YOU for helping me get through it, for caring, for cheering me up, basically for being there for me when those I counted upon wouldn’t even try.